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Updated: March 27, 2013 6:07AM
Dressing down presidential speech: Hey, after listening to the State of the Union address, am I the only one who realizes that the emperor still has no clothes? Am I the only one who sees this? God bless America.
Taxed to the max: Thank God that Republicans are standing up against taxes. Being a resident of Illinois, which levies the highest tax burdens on its citizens, it has to stop somewhere. I realize liberals and progressives want to educate every citizen of every country in the world, but it has to stop. I have no more money. I don’t wish to be taxed anymore. I just know that Illinois is going to raise everything to pay for this pension debt. It just has to stop.
Taxing acts of God: The Elgin City Council wants to tax rainwater runoff. Really? I guess the last round of tax increases, which gave the city a surplus of $7 million, wasn’t enough. So let’s tax acts of God.
Slow at removing snow: The reason why the snowplowing has changed in South Elgin is because the superintendent retired. The guy who is running the show now is one of the workers. Now you’re in the hands of people who do it whenever they feel like it.
Play patriotic songs: To all of these gangbangers, criminals, drug addicts, criminals and home invaders, we need to shout in their ears American patriotic songs. These songs express our freedom, our beauty and our pride. Hopefully, the tunes would train their brains to become good, responsible American citizens. Just try playing these songs over and over until patriotism becomes very strong in our nation.