A survivor’s story ... again

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Gail Williams recently got out of a long and violent domestic abuse situation with her children and found refuge at the Community Crisis Center in Elgin (background). The center has helped her transition herself back into living her life by getting a job, an apartment and enough money. She officially began the process of filing for divorce and she is going with her daughter to court in a domestic violence situation her own child is undergoing. Without getting strong herself, Gail says she would never have been able to help her own children get out of bad situations. She's a pillar of strength for others at the center, as well. This month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. October 25, 2011 | Michael Smart~Sun-Times Media

Updated: December 1, 2011 8:06AM

Meet Gail Williams the Survivor. Proud. Strong. Independent.

She relishes that three-word description because it’s the new improved version of the woman she was a little more than a year ago.

That was Gail Williams the Victim. Beaten. Helpless. Hopeless.

She and her husband were together for 15 years; married for seven.

The honeymoon didn’t last long.

He put her down. He told her she was worthless. She could never please him. Even when she cooked his favorite meal.

Then came the physical abuse. There were scars. Black eyes. Cracked skull.

“But seriously,” she says now, “the worst was the verbal abuse.”

He always felt bad. He always said he’d do better. And he would.

For a while.

The cycle got shorter.

She always gave him second chances. She believed this time it would be different. She believed in the sanctity of marriage.

She did not believe in herself.

“Nobody,” she says, “plans to be a domestic violence victim.”

It’s not like she didn’t call police. She even left her husband. Many times. With no family support, she often ended up at shelters.

In 2008, all the centers in Cook and DuPage counties were filled. There was an opening at the Community Crisis Center in Elgin.

“Where’s Elgin?” she asked.

She arrived with her children and the clothes on her back. She spent six weeks in the program.

He wanted her back. Things had changed. Again. One more chance, she told him.

And so the cycle continued.

Until September of 2010. He locked her out of the house. Yes, again. She took the train back to Elgin.

He cried. He begged. He threatened suicide. This time, he told her — yet one more time — things will really be different.

This time, they really were.

Now she could see her husband for who he was. Her abuser.

After six more weeks at the Crisis Center, Gail Williams the Survivor is with her children in a transitional living apartment in Kane County. She has a job in telemarketing.

She’s already got a promotion.

She filed for divorce.

She’s getting her hair done for the first time. With her own money.

And she’s ready to help others.

Sometimes finding out who you are is a process. A painful one. A long one.

Welcome Gail Williams the Survivor. As we close out October’s Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Awareness Month, we’re especially honored to meet you.