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When your mate gains weight

Demie Scott

Demie Scott

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Updated: July 20, 2013 6:14AM



No more jackets, hats, boots or gloves. It is time to bring out the shorts, tank tops, flip-flops and, oh yeah, the dreaded swim suits.

Funny. The suit seemed to go on a lot easier at the end of last summer. The drawstring on the board shorts didn’t appear to strain to connect the two ends. Is it possible that you might have grown taller over the winter, since the one-piece bathing suit doesn’t stretch as well from thigh to shoulder? Mmmmm. Probably not.

So when you grab the beach gear and whip on the summer wear and then say to the person in your life who matters most, “Honey, how do I look?” — if there is a long pause and no request for you to repeat the question, they may be searching for the right words — what to say when your mate gains weight.

Since people who are close to you really don’t want to hurt your feelings, they may start with a description of the long winter season was and how it limited activity.

Or an explanation of the difficulty in trying to eat right, what with friends and family coming to visit more often (everyone knows that you can’t possibly eat food that is good for you, when gathered in a large group).

Or an accusation aimed at these darn summer clothes, certain that none of them fit snugly last season.

While this is a nice way to let your mate down easily, it is not the truth. However, no one in their right mind, with a goal of maintaining their relationship, is going to respond, “Honey, you’ve gained weight.”

So now what?

Well, you don’t want to lie either. So your response might be something that suggests you could both use a quick shopping trip for some well-deserved summer clothes. Don’t want to size up? Then blame the budget. Save your money and instead start a discussion around changes in behavior that will result in improved fitness such as:

Recommending better eating habits — more raw veggies in place of the potato salad and cooking on the grill for tastier meats.

Grabbing a couple of water bottles from the cooler at the beach or park while asking your significant other to join you on a scenic walk.

Promoting a discussion around lifestyle changes to improve health, ultimately producing better bodies and appearance for both of you.

Practicing some healthy behaviors will be beneficial in accelerating weight loss and/or maintaining a good physique more easily. It will also provide opportunities to spend time together being active, creating a mutual support system. Seeing results will encourage you to remain consistent and allow for ongoing conversations regarding your progress.

Remember my motto: “What would Demie say?”

Well, this time it would be: “Don’t weight. Support your mate!”

Next time: “The break-up.”

Demie Scott is a certified personal trainer, owner of FrisScott and Associates Inc. and occasional columnist for The Courier-News. Do you have a health and fitness question or topic you would like considered for future columns? Email Scott through the contact us page on her website, www.makingfitnessconvenient.com. Check with your physician before starting an exercise program.



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